Well, it’s taken over a year, but I’m finally going to share this story. My life’s most embarrassing moment. Except I have a lot of embarrassing moments so it’s hard to pick. But this one is funny… now.
Here’s what happened:
I was in middle school. And I could stop right there because we all know that middle school can be filled with lots of not so great memories and awkward moments from an awkward time in our lives. Which just really makes this story that much worse.
My mom had bought me a new pair of pants. They were pink and had an elastic waist band (and yes, I could stop right here too because the thought that I wore pink pants with an elastic top is beyond bad, but I digress). I tried them on that night and apparently I thought I looked cute because I decided to wear them the next day.
And I took my pants (and panties) off in one swoop, got in the shower and got in bed. Probably excited I had something new to wear the next day.
And the next morning, I walked right into Henderson Junior High wearing those pink pants. And I went to first period and second period and third period. I had French class in third period and our desks were set up in two rows facing each other. And I was on the front row facing another group of students.
And as I sat there, I felt something in my pants leg. So I started kicking my leg … thinking … what on earth is in the leg of these pants? WHY I didn’t stop, I will never know. It’s unexplainable really.
But before I knew it, my RAGGEDY ANN panties fell out of the leg of my pants.
Only they didn’t really fall, they kind of flew right into the middle of the floor. Of French I.
Now it goes without saying that NO ONE in middle school should have raggedy ann panties (or pink pants for that matter). NO ONE AT ALL.
It is a definite glamour “don’t”.
Only I did.
And they fell out of my pants in the middle of French (andcanyousay MORTIFIED?!?).
So I did the only thing I think any reasonable person (who wears pink pants and Raggedy Ann panties) would do, and I started pointing at them and saying …“EWW, EWW”.
My teacher came over and saw my “unmentionables” and called the janitor. It was like “Clean up on aisle one” except it was French class.
And people, that poor janitor came to our class with TONGS. Like GIANT metal salad tongs to carry those Raggedy Ann panties to the garbage.
And I didn’t realize how funny it was until I came home and told my parents about it. And honestly, we laughed harder than maybe I can ever remember laughing about anything else. I was doubled over and clutching my sides thinking of that poor man carrying MY Raggedy Ann panties … with tongs … to the dumpster.
I don’t think anyone ever found out about my “dirty” little secret or if they did I never heard about it.
But I think it might have been then that I learned that most times laughing really is better than crying.