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Darla Stories, Raggedy Ann edition

Well, it’s taken over a year, but I’m finally going to share this story. My life’s most embarrassing moment. Except I have a lot of embarrassing moments so it’s hard to pick. But this one is funny… now.

Here’s what happened:

I was in middle school. And I could stop right there because we all know that middle school can be filled with lots of not so great memories and awkward moments from an awkward time in our lives. Which just really makes this story that much worse.

My mom had bought me a new pair of pants. They were pink and had an elastic waist band (and yes, I could stop right here too because the thought that I wore pink pants with an elastic top is beyond bad, but I digress). I tried them on that night and apparently I thought I looked cute because I decided to wear them the next day.

And I took my pants (and panties) off in one swoop, got in the shower and got in bed. Probably excited I had something new to wear the next day.

And the next morning, I walked right into Henderson Junior High wearing those pink pants. And I went to first period and second period and third period. I had French class in third period and our desks were set up in two rows facing each other. And I was on the front row facing another group of students.

And as I sat there, I felt something in my pants leg. So I started kicking my leg … thinking … what on earth is in the leg of these pants? WHY I didn’t stop, I will never know. It’s unexplainable really.

But before I knew it, my RAGGEDY ANN panties fell out of the leg of my pants.

Only they didn’t really fall, they kind of flew right into the middle of the floor. Of French I.

Now it goes without saying that NO ONE in middle school should have raggedy ann panties (or pink pants for that matter). NO ONE AT ALL.

It is a definite glamour “don’t”.

Only I did.

And they fell out of my pants in the middle of French (andcanyousay MORTIFIED?!?).

So I did the only thing I think any reasonable person (who wears pink pants and Raggedy Ann panties) would do, and I started pointing at them and saying …“EWW, EWW”.

My teacher came over and saw my “unmentionables” and called the janitor. It was like “Clean up on aisle one” except it was French class.

And people, that poor janitor came to our class with TONGS. Like GIANT metal salad tongs to carry those Raggedy Ann panties to the garbage.

And I didn’t realize how funny it was until I came home and told my parents about it. And honestly, we laughed harder than maybe I can ever remember laughing about anything else. I was doubled over and clutching my sides thinking of that poor man carrying MY Raggedy Ann panties … with tongs … to the dumpster.

I don’t think anyone ever found out about my “dirty” little secret or if they did I never heard about it.

But I think it might have been then that I learned that most times laughing really is better than crying.

Comments: #

Deanne - Sep 3, 2009

I think you handled it better than I would have. But I still wear pink pants….

As Truvy in Steel Magnolias says “Laughter through tears is one of my favorite emotions.”

rootsandrings - Sep 3, 2009

I would have fainted. I’ve had panties in my pant leg before. Luckily I found them on my own in the restroom and hit them in my purse.

mamasan - Sep 0, 2009

Well, I too have had that happen to me - first year university and after a late, late night with friends. I was out the next morning at the mall with THE guy of my affections at the time - when I noticed this pair of undies kicking around my feet. I thought, Eeew too and started to say it out loud when I realized that they were mine - mortifying. I ended up stuffing them in my pocket….

But I’m sure if you asked him today if he remembers or found it gross - he probably wouldn’t even remember.

Because, dear Darla, I so remember so many things about Mme Grillo’s class: French, fun, our hilarious skits (weren’t you in the bus one? I still see you all leaning left, right, bump), our French francs for speaking French, competitions at UALR, great friends: you, Melody, Lucinda but I only have a vague memory of panties and I wonder if it’s just because I’m imagining what you so wonderfully described.

So don’t worry about being mortified around us. But as always thanks for your hilarious open honesty - so refreshing and so nice to know I’m not the only one!!!

mamasan - Sep 0, 2009

Oh by the way - mamasan - c’est moi, Morgan Nash (Missy)

Beth - Sep 1, 2009

The ultimate Darla story!!! What do people do without Darla as their friend? I’m so glad I will never know!