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Air Head

O.K., sometimes things are too long to be included in the “Darla Stories….a few more things I thought were funny” posts. This is one of them. So today it is the “Darla Story” for the week, just too long to post more than one. And seriously, I laughed so hard even thinking about writing this that I think it will be enough.

I’ve titled it “Air Head” because that is what it was, both literally and figuratively.

Here’s what happened:

We were leaving the next day on our first family vacation to Disney World. Caroline had just finished kindergarten and Brittany was 3. (Savannah had a private vacation at her Grammy and Grandys home.)

The night before we left I ran by Toys R Us for a few last minute airplane activities. Once I had those, I’d be ready to go. Wheels up for Disney! As I was checking out I saw something I knew would make our vacation “totally cool”.

It was the “Air Head” visor. That is actually what it was called, the “Air Head”. Maybe the name should have alerted me, but it did not. I bought the only 3 that they had. The visor was plastic and had a fan built right into the bill of the hat.

I really thought we’d be the envy of all of Disney….all cool with our “air head” fans while all the other, less fortunate, park visitors baked in the heat. I even imagined that Disney might sell them at the park for quite a bit more than the bargain price of $5.99 that I was paying. To be honest, I predicted that people would be offering us money for ours. I really thought they were that cool.

So much so that I drove to the next closest Toys R US (which is not close) so I could get one more. I did not want Bill to not be included in our air head extravaganza.

I came home and told them I had a surprise. It was so “cool” that I couldn’t show them until we got to Disney. I loaded up those hats with batteries, put back up batteries in my bag and we were off.

The first morning of our trip it was time for the big “reveal”. I couldn’t wait. They were going to be so excited. OK guys….here it is….it’s awesome…’s cool, it’s the AIR HEAD visor!!!

Complete stares of disbelief. Announcing that there was no way in the world he would EVER wear the Airhead visor fan hat, Bill told me I was crazy. Off my rocker. Delusional.

And I told him he’d be sorry.

The girls and I would be the envy of Disney and he would only be able to watch (in the heat no less). The girls didn’t exactly jump on the visor idea either, but it didn’t dissuade me. No sirree, I had a backpack and I was loading up the hats. It was going to get hot and I was going to be set.

And it did get hot. At the time, we were waiting in line for Winnie the Pooh’s autograph. Not wanting to appear too smug with my unbelieveable air head visor accessory, I slowly pulled the hats out of the bag and put them on the girls’ head.

It was when I put mine on that Bill lost it. Seriously dying laughing and acting as if he did not know me. And so he walked off. Decided to wait it out on a park bench somewhere else.

Well, I turned our fans on, began enjoying the cool breeze and thinking that at any second people may begin the inevitable questioning….“Where DID you get that air head fan?!”

But before I could revel in my glory too much, Brittany began screaming. ouch, OUCH, OUCH!!!!!!!!!

And it was then that I realized she was being scalped. Her bangs were caught in the fan and it was slowly but surely chopping up her beautiful hair.

And I did what I generally do in crisis situations.

I panicked.

I began to yell….help, HELP, HELP!!!! Screaming!

And, you gotta love this about Disney, in seconds…literally seconds, emergency personnel surrounded Brittany. Apparently the first thing I should have done was to turn the fan off. That does seem like a good idea now but at the time all I could think was “Brittany is being SCALPED!!!!”

The nice folks at Disney gently extracted what remained of Brittany’s bangs from her Air Head visor. They recommended we not bring those into the park in the future and then went on about their way, shaking their heads I’m sure.

And where was Bill during all this you ask?

I’m not making this up…….seriously, he was probably 5 rides down from where we were, sitting on another bench, laughing his head off that I had spent $5.99 on what I considered the coolest hat around, the hat he refused to put on and the hat that ultimately brought out park security, park emergency services….you name it.

And the next time we go to Disney….I’m buying my hat there.